~Voice-of-October

I've been gone for two weeks. But I'm home now.
I really wish I wasn't.
I live with strangers. And I feel so guilty.
I know it's my fault.
A friend of mine isn't doing very good. And it hurts me so see him like this.
My other friends are becoming.......how can I say this?
Strangers..........
Our class took a trip. We had to stay in small groups of four.
I stayed with three of my closest girl friends.
Or so i thought.
I spent most of my time outside their little circle, wondering what I'd done to fall so far. Why didn't I deserve to be with them? Am I not good enough?
I'd get up to go somewhere, but they'd always decline my invitation for them to join me.
But as soon as I'd return, they'd leave to go to the exact same place I was just at.
Why? I didn't think they were hypocrites.
I'm hurting my boyfriend and I don't mean to. We keep fighting. Its killing our relationship. And it's my fault.

I need to get away.
The air is still cold.
I haven't seen the sun in weeks.
I hope I will soon.
Maybe it will heal me.

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I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything
And knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone?
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

As the years pass by before my face
As wars rage before me
Finding myself in these last days of existence
This parasite inside me I forced it out
In the darkness of the storm
Lies an evil
But it's me.

Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything


Oh Where? Where has my heart gone?
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

I still remember...


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--Rowyn